Life is not all rosy

Life is not all rosy 

May 30, 2014

By: Gina Yoryet Roman

I’ve been trying to sort out and accept a few unexpected changes and disappointments as of lately. Staying put to life’s blind alleys can be hard if we go through them alone. Sometimes I catch myself exaggerating and I whine that I ‘don’t’ have any friends. This entire month proved me wrong and rubbed the truth on my face. How? Showing me that I have a lot of friends who will always be there to support me

In a way I am a lot like men as every time I go through a particular downfall I automatically shut down and go M. I. A. for however long I deem necessary to come back to real life and feel normal again. This time I took a different approach and felt very blessed to reach out to my girlfriends that are fighting the same battles. All in all, I spent time with my friends Veronica, Berenice, Cecilia, Martita, Guillermina, Patricia, Rene, Kristen, Cynthia, and on top of that, I talked on the phone with my two lifetime best friends, Norma and Rosie and my best guy friend, Pedro. In a period of thirty, thirty one days, I did a recount of most of my good ‘ole friends and was glad that there are so many wonderful people for me when I am under the impression that life is not rosy. 

That’s why every day when I wake up, no matter what, I am grateful for all the blessings I’ve been endowed with, one of them is my friends, I’d be lost without my family and them. I was too caught up on me until I talked to my eighteen year old nephew just a little while ago after I read his alarming email sent to me last night. Last December when he had recently turned eighteen, I sat down with him and laid it all out to him the way it was after he failed some classes during his first semester in college. He approached me because his mother refused to open up as a punishment. 

True, I am dealing with temporary disappointment but I am well aware that I only have one choice. It is a lot simpler to take in life’s blows as we grow older but what about children and teenagers? How do you explain an eight year old girl that NOT winning her dance performance is one of endless opportunities to improve and shine in this world? How do you explain a teenager that his/her parents are going through divorce? 

How can you tell them that life is exactly about that but then you rise again because there is no other way out? 

Focusing on the issue that Dado put himself through was a circuit that directed me  outside of my bubble. I am trying to come up with a list of different ways to help him and ignite him to keep fighting when he’s facing disappointment and lack of motivation. Before I called him I came with a list of resolutions for him (for us to do because I am in this with him). 

Number one: Give his mother the news today when she takes him out to lunch. Otherwise, I will call her and break the news to him first thing tomorrow morning. 

Number two: Write a list of benefits he’s got there and balance them out.

Number three: Start working to come up with money to buy his place ticket since I can’t support him with that because he failed to comply with the agreement we made in December. 

Number four: Come up with a list of short and long term goals.

Number five: Start being more appreciative for all the benefits he’s been given and be kinder to his mother. 

I am praying to remain resilient and non-lenient in order to help my sister form a responsible and appreciative young man. I in any way intend to form a perfect man because perfection is not of this world. We all have our flaws but we are very good at hiding them and it always takes another someone to point them out. Our sole duty is to work with them and strive to be better people. 

That's why first and foremost, I reiterated to him that I love him and I believe in him because he is a very smart young man but he has to understand that there’s sacrifice concealed behind anything we want to achieve. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, meaning that here he will have to work twice as hard and make less money. Sometimes we learn the hard way and now is his turn. 

It is a tough challenge but I am ready to face it as long as I can be of benefit and a good influence to him. Before anything, I will always believe in him because he has a very promising and bring future.